Getting bullied is okay. Kids will survive. The most successful people in the United States were bullied. Do you think Bill Gates became a billionaire without running into a few assholes along the way? Jack White was probably a strange little boy, don’t you think? Surely he had a bully or two that didn’t appreciate his eccentricity. Now, he’s a guitar god. Have you seen that childhood photo of Ryan Seacrest? There’s so much to make fun of! He has 17 television shows. (Don’t quote me on that number.)
Let’s be clear and honest and transparent. I was an awkward kid. And an awkward teenager. And today, an awkward adult. I dealt with bullying and hurtful jokes about everything. My dysfunctional family. My ill kept hair. My knockoff shoes and clothes. My slight size. My big nose. My dedication to the nerdier things in life. And of course, my lack of experience in the world of female relations.
My old man said I was a sensitive kid. He was right. When I was 12, if you asked me if I was dealt a good hand, I would have responded with an emphatic “NO!” and a desperate plea to take me far away. To somewhere else. Anywhere else. I’m almost 30 now. Ask me how that hand panned out.
I was pretty damn fortunate. Fortunate to land on my feet, but also fortunate to be bullied. I survived. Most kids do, you know. Kids are resilient little shits. You learn a lot when you’re bullied. Self awareness and modesty. The value of a good friend. When to keep your mouth shut. How to adapt.
My fear and anxiety in social situations led to a lot of scrutiny from my peers, but also down a different path. That path has put me here. The things that made me an outcast got me through a teen life WITHOUT failing grades, making babies, arrests or hospital visits.
I was never cool. And I’m cool with that. Am I cool now? Fuck, I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like I am. Then the universe puts me in my place.The universe is the ultimate bully. I’ll tell you what I am, though. And what I have. I am more successful than other people my age. The little weirdo I was as a kid still lives. But instead of “weird” or “nerdy” or “uncool,” I’m “creative” and “quirky” and “witty.”
I have a wife. And she’s hot. Like, ACTUALLY HOT. I own a damn house. And two cars. I’ve seen places my bullies have never been, tasted and smelled things they’ll never know. And that’s the funny thing about bullies. They just kind of disappear. They go away. They lead pathetic lives to nowhere or grow up and become upstanding citizens.
Bullies and the act of bullying are important. And when we create campaigns and PSAs minimizing their importance, we’re doing children everywhere a disservice.
There are lines that can be crossed. Bullying can be taken too far, but when we put a giant magnifying glass on a downtrodden nerdy kid it’s only going to make things worse. Awareness has negative side effects. Teenagers realize how “big of a problem” it is. They learn how unfair it is. It makes them sad. More sad than they should be. We’re molding and shaping weaker children. Children that cannot handle any resistance and shutdown when things aren’t fair. And as we all know, life’s not fair.
Now, we’ve got kids killing themselves because a classmate made fun of their backpack. Ask a teen from a third world country what bullying is. I’ll guess they won’t have a fucking clue. They’ll acknowledge that this person beats them up, or that person calls them names, but they aren’t aware it’s such an “epidemic.” They’ve got far more important challenges in front of them.
Were we all killing ourselves when I was a kid because of bullying? No. When I was a teenager, getting bullied was the worst thing in the world. But that’s how teenagers see things. Things are the best thing in the world or the worst thing in the world. So what’s different now? We’re validating their often over exaggerated emotions. They’re reacting to our response. Now, teens lack the fortitude to either stand up for themselves or shrug it off.
I saw The Beastie Boys in Atlanta during their To The 5 Burroughs tour. Great show. As a (white) drummer that’s been known to spit a few verses, he and the other Beasties are a huge musical influence in my life.
